


post-it notes

by BatWingsandBlackCats



Series: Carmilla S3 Fanfic Bomb [4]
Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, No Character Death, Post-S1
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-01
Updated: 2016-10-01
Packaged: 2018-08-18 22:27:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8178418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BatWingsandBlackCats/pseuds/BatWingsandBlackCats
Summary: Carmilla was dead.
To cope, Laura covers Carmilla's wall of the dorm with post it notes full of every little detail she could remember about Carmilla, in an attempt to prevent anything from slipping through the cracks. She couldn't forget her.
The earthquakes come, and after a month in the mountains, Laura returns to find everything not as she left it.
 
*no character death*





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! HOW AMAZING WAS ACT II??? Oh my god. I think it's my favorite. 
> 
> Here's the next installment of the S3 Fanfic Bomb! This is a fic that's been sitting on the shelf for ages, and it's based on a prompt that I unfortunately no longer have the source for. I hope you all enjoy, and thanks for reading!
> 
> (I also just want to say that even though the show is winding down and will be over soon *sobs* I'll still be actively blogging about Carmilla and writing fic/drawing fanart for a _very_ long time. Carmilla has very much become a home for me, and you guys are so amazing. Also, TDIRAU and HPSLAU will be updated soon (the HPSLAU most likely first, I have a Halloween piece planned) I just have a couple other smaller fics to get out of the way first.)

_“We won. We actually won. We won...and Carmilla’s dead.”_

\-----

Carmilla’s last moments wouldn’t stop playing through Laura’s head. 

_“Y’know, I really am starting to hate this heroic vampire crap,”_

_“CARMILLA NO!!”_

\-------

When everyone started filing out of room 307 that night, Perry and LaFontaine lagged behind.

“Do you need anything, Laura?” Perry asked gently her fingers twisting together as she watched Laura stare straight ahead, her face blank and her bottom lip pulled between her teeth.

“I don’t really know,” Laura said quietly. She seemed to shake herself from her stupor for a moment, and looked up at the two redheads. “I...I’ll let you know if I think of something,”

“Okay, Frosh,” LaFontaine nodded, patting Laura’s shoulder. “we’ll check in tomorrow morning,”

Laura nodded, and offered them a weak smile, watching them as they went. 

\-------

The next morning, LaFontaine woke up to their phone buzzing.

“Hey frosh, you okay?” They asked, their voice scratchy with sleep.

“Post-its,” Laura said, her voice thin and tired.

“Huh?” They asked, sitting up and rubbing their eyes, unsure if they heard right.

“I could use some post-it notes,” Laura clarified.

“Oh, yeah, sure,” LaFontaine said, glancing over at Perry’s desk. There was a stack of them sitting there. “Perry has some here, want me to bring them over now?”

“Yes, please,” Laura said through a sniffle, and then said a quick goodbye before hanging up. 

A few minutes later, there was a soft knock at Laura’s door. Laura dragged herself out of bed and tried in vain to smooth out her hair a little before opening the door. “Hey, LaF,”

“Hey,” They said with a sympathetic half smile. “here you go,” 

Laura took the stack of post-its from them, and ran her thumb along the paper. “Thanks,” She said with a small nod. “tell Perry I’ll get her some next time I go into town,”

LaFontaine shook their head and waved a hand. “Don’t worry about it,” They said. “she won’t mind. So what are you going to do with them?”

Laura bit her lip and looked down at her feet. “Promise you won’t laugh?” She asked quietly. 

LaFontaine’s brow furrowed. “’Course,” They nodded.

Laura glanced back at the mostly bare wall that Carmilla’s former bed was pushed up against. “I don’t want to forget her,” Laura said quietly, “I _can’t_...But I already feel like things are slipping away even with all of my videos so I was going to just...write everything down I can remember about her, and stick it to her wall,”

LaFontaine’s face softened. “Sounds like a good plan,” They said with a little smile. “do you want some company, or...?”

Laura shook her head, playing absently with the ends of her hair. “No, it’s okay, it’s early, you should go back to bed,”

“Alright,” LaFontaine nodded, understanding. “just let us know if you need anything,”

Laura nodded, and hesitated for a moment before wrapping LaFontaine in a hug. “Thanks,” She whispered into their shoulder. 

“Anytime,”

\-------

Laura had been sitting on Carmilla’s bed for two hours now, and was nearly a third of the way through the post-it notes. The wall to the left of Carmilla’s bed, which had been nearly empty for months was slowly becoming cluttered with post-it notes that were packed with words, anything and everything Laura could remember about her. Laura’s stomach was in knots and she wrote furiously, unaware of the knot in her shoulder from how she sat, or the fact that her cheeks were wet.

She wrote down all the stupid, annoying things Carmilla would do _(she left her hair in the shower drain_ and _she stole my food_ and _she stole my pillow_ and _she corrected my textbooks_ and _she left blood bags lying around)_ and the sweet, thoughtful things _(she made extra cocoa when I was upset and then wouldn’t admit that she did it on purpose_ and _she decked Will in the face for me_ and she woke me up from nightmares) and she wrote about her. Just _her. (her hair hides her eyes and it makes them look darker but they’re so soft and they’re warm and so kind when she allows it_ and _there’s this little shock of light hair on the right side of her head and I never found out why it’s there_ and _her hands were soft_ and _she was so tender even though the world tried to pound it out of her.)_

_(I loved her, I loved her, I love her.)_

Laura wrote and wrote and wrote whenever she had a chance until her pen was out of ink and she’d run out of post-it notes. 

At night she’d wrap herself in Carmilla’s sheets that still smelled like spruce and wood smoke and copper, her back pressed to the wall in a vain attempt to try and feel her in the cold plaster and the little yellow slips of paper. 

For once she was glad that her yellow pillow didn’t smell like herself anymore.

\-------

The earthquakes came.

Her, LaF, and Perry had no choice but to run, fleeing to the mountains in an attempt to escape the hell that’d been unleashed. 

Laura only had time to grab Carmilla’s old leather jacket as they fled.

\-------

Nearly a month later found the three of them back at Silas’ gates, having been sent there by a kobold when Laura had asked to go home. Defeated, the three trudged back across campus, looking for shelter from the cold. 

“You want to check out the dorms?” LaF asked, pointing to the building the three of them had once resided in. “I mean if anything maybe we can salvage some of our stuff,” They said with a shrug.

Perry nodded in agreement, and so did Laura. She wanted her pillow back, but part of her also wanted to salvage as many of the post-it notes as she could. More and more things about Carmilla felt like they were slipping through the cracks and she wanted to remember every shred she could. 

The three trudged up to the half collapsed building, Perry nervously fidgeting along the way and wondering out loud if they should even step foot inside because _what if the stairs collapse or the roof caves in_. Laura hurried on ahead of them as LaFontaine talked Perry down, and raced up the stairs, picking her way around debris until she came to her old floor. She could hear LaF and Perry behind her, and turned to call to them.

“It seems pretty steady guys, I’m going to go look around our old room,” Laura said, pointing over her shoulder.

“Okay, meet us back here?” LaF said, walking up the last few steps with Perry.

Laura nodded and then hurried down the hall to room 307, plaster dust and small snow drifts crunching under her worn boots. Large chunks were missing from the roof and she shivered as gusts of freezing wind blew in through the gaping holes, crawling down the back of Carmilla’s jacket and up the sleeves.

Laura’s steps quickened when she saw flashes of yellow up ahead, scattered post-it notes against the dull grey of the hall carpet, but she paused when she leaned down to gather them up.

They were blank. 

Laura’s brows knitted together as she franticly picked up slip after little slip of yellow paper, finding each of them blank. But she’d written on them with black ink, how were they blank? 

Laura turned to the door of her old dorm and pushed the door the rest of the way open, peering inside to make sure it was empty before stepping inside fully. Her eyes followed the post-it notes--they were scattered all over the room, a few still stuck to the wall, and it distracted her enough that it took her a moment to realize what a _disaster_ her-- _their_ cozy little room had become. The glass was shattered in all the windows and part of the roof was missing, the wardrobe had fallen over and Carmilla’s bed was overturned, sheets and blankets scattered about along with long forgotten homework and torn books. Her tardis mug lay shattered on the floor, but her yellow pillow was mercifully untouched, if not a little dirty.

Laura sighed and walked over to it, brushing some dust and snow off it before picking it up. She looked around again, trying to find anything else that might be salvageable, anything they could use. Her eyes drifted over towards Carmilla’s bed, where she saw one of Carmilla’s boots poking out from under the frame. She looked down at her own boots, at the stain and the deep scratches in the leather, and felt how the sole had worn down from constant use in the mountains. She looked back to Carmilla’s boot and figured that if she could find the other one, Carmilla probably wouldn’t mind if she wore them. They were about the same size. It’s not like Carmilla was using them.

She knelt down, trying to ignore the blank post it notes scattered around her--she’d just have to write more, maybe in a journal this time--and grabbed hold of the boot to pull it out from under the bed, but she suddenly paused when it wouldn’t budge. 

The color drained from her face when her eyes caught sight of the dirty, ripped black denim that was tucked into it. 

Slowly, Laura’s hand moved from the scuffed leather to the denim, and her chest lurched when her hand wrapped around a slim, cold calf.

_Carmilla._

Laura’s heart lurched into overdrive as her hands scrabbled against the debris scattered around her, trying to clear it away. 

Her mind was racing, slamming into panic mode as she pushed against the bed, desperately trying to move it off of Carmilla’s body that lay beneath. She didn’t know if Carmilla was alive or dead or alive as a vampire could be but she didn’t care, she didn’t care because she had to get her out and how was she here she died in the pit _she died in the pit!_

The bed wouldn’t budge and Laura’s hands were scrapped and bleeding by now and she did the only thing that came to mind when her brain started working again.

_“LAF!!”_ She screamed, still trying to move the bed. _”LAF!! PERRY!!!”_

She heard their faint pounding footsteps come rushing down the hall, but she was only half paying attention because she needed to get Carmilla out _now_.

“Laura?! What happened?!” LaF called, barreling into the room with Perry on their heels.

“It’s Carmilla!” Laura cried, looking back at them, “she’s buried under here, help me get her out!”

“Shit,” LaFontaine breathed, rushing forward to push on the bed.

“LaFontaine, you push on the bed with me, Laura, pull her out,” Perry said hurriedly, positioning herself beside LaFontaine.

Laura gripped Carmilla’s legs, her hands shaking, and waited for LaFontaine and Perry to move the bed. With a creek of wood and a loud groan from both of them, Perry and LaFontaine were able to shift the bed enough for Laura to pull Carmilla out before they had to drop the bed again. Laura scrambled to Carmilla’s side, brushing her tangled hair away from her face and gripping her cold skin. 

“Oh my--what’s on her skin?” Perry said worriedly, her eyes widening when she saw black marks dotted everywhere there was exposed flesh.

_Words._

“I don’t _care_ right now, we have to get her somewhere warm, her heart’s still beating!”

\-------

A half an hour later found the three barging through the door of an abandoned apartment, Carmilla’s limp body hanging between LaFontaine and Laura as Perry rushed ahead of them, throwing doors open for them. 

“Perry find the thermostat!” LaFontaine called as they and Laura hauled Carmilla into the first bedroom they could find. 

The room was wallpapered in deep green and patterned with white flowers, and an exceedingly plush looking bed surrounded by white gauze curtains sat in the middle of the room. LaFontaine and Laura laid Carmilla out on the white blankets as they heard the furnace a floor below kick on, the heaters beginning to clank and clatter.

Perry soon came rushing in not a moment later with two fat blood bags, earning equally baffled looks from both LaFontaine and Laura. 

“I found them in the fridge,” Perry said quickly, passing one to Laura. “by now I’ve just learned to accept these things,”

Laura snatched it and nodded in thanks, and opened the nozzle before gently pushing it between Carmilla’s parted lips, and a broken sob bubbled up from her throat when Carmilla’s throat bobbed as she swallowed.

LaFontaine and Perry both sighed in relief, and quietly said something about going to find some clean cloths and hot water to clean Carmilla up so that Laura could have a moment alone. 

Laura pulled the blood bag away when it was half empty. Carmilla still hadn’t woken up, but Laura could have _sworn_ that she saw Carmilla’s eyelids flutter for a brief moment before they stilled again. She shrugged Carmilla’s jacket off her shoulders as the room began to grow warmer, and draped it over the back of a chair before quickly coming back to Carmilla’s side and taking her hand. 

Now that Laura could finally breathe and _think_ because Carmilla was here and she was _alive_ , her honey eyes swept over Carmilla’s alabaster skin that was left exposed by the rips in her dirty clothes, and her heart clenched for a whole new reason this time when she realized that Carmilla was covered in her handwriting. 

She read the words _‘snarky’_ and _‘bookish’_ and _‘kind’_ and _‘her hands were soft’_ and _‘she stole my pillow’_ and realized that Carmilla was covered in all the words she’d written so she wouldn’t forget her. Her eyes welled up and she pressed her forehead to Carmilla’s shoulder, gripping her shirt as if she’d be ripped away from her again. 

The words ran up and down her arms, settled in the hollows of her neck and collar bones, wound around her fingers and lay in the peaks and valleys of her knuckles, curled around her torso and no doubt ran up and down her legs as well. A few stopped just beneath her ears and some just barely cradled her jaw, only just making the curve of it and leaving her face untouched. 

Laura lifted her head when she heard footsteps, and quickly wiped her eyes as LaFontaine and Perry entered the room, arms laden with soap and hot water and clean towels, and even some clean clothes that Perry had managed to find. “Help me get her clothes off?” Laura asked, standing up.

LaFontaine nodded and the three of them carefully peeled off Carmilla’s bloodied and dirty clothes and washed the grime and blood from her skin, being careful of the cuts and bruises that dotted her skin. As curious as LaFontaine was about the words that covered Carmilla’s skin, they refrained from reading them, knowing that it must be something personal between her and Laura. 

Carmilla still hadn’t woken up, but she took the blood Laura gave her between washing her and changing her clothes and her skin was growing warmer, her pallor looking more alive, and honestly that was everything Laura could have hoped for. 

LaFontaine and Perry eventually left the room to find another to crash in themselves after Laura had assured them that she had it handled from here. Laura found a soft blanket in a chest at the end of the bed and tucked it around Carmilla before carefully climbing on the bed herself. She winced as she pulled her boots off for the first time in weeks, grimacing as she peeled her socks off. Maybe there was some blister cream in one of the cabinets in this place. She carefully tossed her boots and socks aside and laid down beside Carmilla, laying a hand on her forearm and tracing the slightly raised words that were etched into her skin. 

Laura watched Carmilla in silence, noticing with relief that Carmilla’s face looked softer than when she first found her, the blood doing its job and erasing the gaunt, deathly look Carmilla had bore only hours before. She desperately fought the urge to sleep, wanting to be awake when Carmilla woke up, but the bed was impossibly soft and warm and her eyelids were heavy with waning adrenaline and from weeks of sleepless nights in the mountains, and Carmilla’s scent was no longer something stale clinging to a jacket, but warm and solid, and _here_ , and Laura couldn’t fight it anymore. 

\-------

Laura’s eyes snapped open hours later when she felt the bed shift. 

Beside her, Carmilla groaned, her eyes opening blearily before snapping shut again with a pained hiss as the light hit he eyes.

“Carm?” Laura whispered, waiting with bated breath for Carmilla to respond. She reached out and dimmed the lamp so it wouldn’t hurt Carmilla’s eye again.

Carmilla’s head turned towards Laura, following the sound of her voice, and her eyes cracked open once again. “L...Laura...?” She croaked, catching sight of honey brown hair and wide, hazel eyes. 

_“Carm,”_ Laura breathed, relief flooding through her. She quickly sat up and brushed Carmilla’s hair from her eyes, and laid a hand on her warm cheek. “You’re here, you’re here,” She whispered.

Carmilla sighed, opening her eyes a little more when she realized the light was off. She looked up at Laura, their eyes locking for the first time, there in the dim light.

“Hey,” Laura said softly, her thumb absently stroking Carmilla’s cheekbone, back and forth.

“Hey,” Carmilla murmured, slowly lifting a hand to lay on top of Laura’s. “what happened?” She whispered, her brow knitting together. 

“I don’t know,” Laura said truthfully, with a tiny shrug. “you were...you were _dead_ , you died in the pit, and then earthquakes started and we had to run from campus,” Laura said, swallowing tears. “we got lost in the mountains for a month and then got sent back here by a kobold when I asked it to send us home...we went back to the dorms to see if there was anything we could salvage, and I found you in the rubble of our old room,”

“But I was in the pit...” Carmilla said, confused. She winced as she moved her had to rub her eyes, but paused when she saw the words covering her skin. Her eyes flicked down to her arm, finding more. “what-what’s all over me?” She asked, trying to sit up.

Laura gently gripped her shoulders, trying to get her to lie down again. “They’re words, I...when I thought you were dead I covered your wall in post it notes full of things I remembered about you so I wouldn’t forget you because it felt like you were slipping through the cracks and I couldn’t forget you, I _couldn’t_...so I wrote down everything I could remember.” A few tears slipped out and splashed on the blanket. “When I went back to the dorm, they were everywhere but they were blank, and all the words were on you instead,”

Carmilla’s eyes softened, and welled up a little as she listened, her heart breaking and mending at the same time. _Laura missed her that much?_

“I think that’s how you came back,” Laura said quietly, “I mean, it’s Silas,” She said with a watery laugh. 

Carmilla let out a weak chuckle, and smiled. “I don’t care how I came back,” She said, laying a hand on Laura’s cheek. “I just care that I came back to you,”

Laura leaned down and pressed their foreheads together, carefully wrapping her arms around Carmilla as Carmilla did the same, lacing her fingers through tangled hair. 

Laura pulled back after a moment, just enough to look at Carmilla. “Carm... _you know_ , right?”

Carmilla smiled a little and nodded, closing the gap between them to press a tender kiss to Laura’s lips.

“I know,”

\-------

Several days later, when Carmilla was strong enough to get up on her own and take a shower, she undressed in front of the mirror in the bathroom only to find the words _I loved her I loved her I love her_ etched over her heart.


End file.
